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Mushroom Risotto

This month, we're featuring delicious meals that you can make using a single dish. Today, Giulia from Audrey's is sharing her killer recipe for mushroom risotto with nutty Parmesan cheese. Here's how to whip it up...
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"How long have I got left?"

Last May, my brother-in-law, Paul, who has a deep gentleness and a keen sense of humor, found out that he had incurable lung cancer. Out of nowhere, he was facing death. He was 36 and had always been healthy. Our family was floored.

This week, he wrote a beautiful essay for the New York Times about what the experience has been like. At first, he thought he had only a few months, but now, because of a new treatment, he may live longer. (Two years? Five years? Ten years? The doctors don't know.) And that uncertainty is disorienting.

"The path forward would seem obvious," he writes, "if only I knew how many months or years I had left. Tell me three months, I’d just spend time with family. Tell me one year, I’d have a plan (write a book). Give me 10 years, I’d get back to treating diseases [as a neurosurgeon]. The pedestrian truth that you live one day at a time didn’t help: What was I supposed to do with that day? My oncologist would say only: 'I can’t tell you a time. You’ve got to find what matters most to you.' "
We all know are going to die, and we don't know when, but as Paul says, "now I know it acutely."

Read his beautiful essay here, if you'd like. Thank you so much for sharing, Paul. We love you. xoxo

(Top illustration by Tucker Nichols for the New York Times)

Nostalgia

How many children are you planning to have? We are probably going to stick with two, so little Anton is most likely our last baby. He's six months old, and watching him grow up is bittersweet. His milky smell, his round belly, his warm neck, his soft arms, his chunky thighs. I want to breathe him in, eat him up; motherhood is so tactile.
Sometimes I feel swept by a wave of nostalgic for these baby days, even as I'm experiencing them.
Anton, stay little, my little one!
Oh, my heart. So. In honor of all the soft and sweet children out there, we're giving away two $200 gift cards from The Honest Company, which makes safe, natural, non-toxic diapers, wipes, bath care and green cleaning products. Our family uses Honest for all our household cleaning, bath and baby needs, and I am so glad to have a brand we trust! (And how sweet are their winter patterned diapers with tiny axes?)
Plus, earlier this winter, Anton was fussy and Toby was cranky, and I finally realized it was simply because their skin was dry and itchy. (Forehead smack.) All that dry indoor heat was drying out their skin. So we now have a winter survival kit: lotion, body oil, healing balm; sensitive diapers and wipes, and an all-mighty humidifier. (Alex now has a Liz-Lemon-esque love of humidifiers and we have one in every room:)
For a chance to win, please visit The Honest Company and leave a comment below. Two winners will be chosen tomorrow at random. Thank you so much!

Bonus for all readers: The Honest Company is offering free shipping with a minimum purchase of $25 with CUPOFJOFREESHIP for the next two weeks. For the first purchase only.

P.S. A winter challenge, and would you ever decide NOT to have kids?
P.P.S. Feeling nostalgic for Toby.

(Photos by our friend Julia Robbs for Cup of Jo. Thanks, Julia! This post is sponsored by The Honest Company, whose mission I adore. Thank you so much for supporting the sponsors that make Cup of Jo possible.)

Have the most unbearably sweet weekend you can't even stand it.

The other day, Toby woke up from his nap crying (bad dream, maybe?) so Anton went in and held his hand and they both fell asleep for an hour. I love how the teeny little brother is taking care of the strong big brother. It feels like the true beginning of a beautiful friendship. My heart was bursting times a million. Anyway, hope you have a wonderful weekend, and here are a few fun posts from around the web...

Love this bear tattoo.

Dress like you're in a movie.

A cheese trick.

Peek inside food.

I snuck out for a pedicure this week and discovered the sexiest color: Lacy Not Racy.

Painted business cards.

Dinner parties nowadays.

Woman Takes Short Half-Hour Break From Being Feminist To Enjoy TV Show.

George Clooney played a prank on Matt Damon.

Shoes for warmer weather. (Can't wait.)

For the love of money. Makes you think.

A smart take on the Lena Dunham Vogue photo shoot.

Who else secretly wants to take ballet as a grown-up?

Those crazy pants from the movie Her are actually for sale.

Finally, would anyone like to have bangs? We're doing a tutorial on February 8th and are looking for readers who don't currently have bangs but would like them. If you're interested, please email cupofjobeauty@gmail.com with a snapshot of your haircut. We'd love to hear from you! Thank you so much, and have a great weekend!

Juggling date

To spice up the winter, Alex and I have booked some funny dates through HowAboutWe, the dating and relationships site that helps plan amazing dates for couples. You browse their list of dates, book the ones you like, and go. They take care of all the details. It's great for people who want to do exciting offbeat stuff but don't have time or energy to plan everything themselves.
We've been lucky enough to get massages at home (woo hoo!) and take a pool lesson, and last week, we went to a juggling class, which was one of the funniest dates we've ever gone on.
Our teacher, Heather, learned to juggle when she was in the circus (naturally).
She had us start with scarves, which are of course slower and easier than juggling balls.
Heather explained that juggling is not only a fun party trick, but it's also incredibly calming and meditative. When you're juggling, you can't think (or stress out) about anything else, so it really clears your head. Pro athletes often juggle to increase coordination, and studies show that it can actually increase grey matter in your brain.
She told us to pretend we were robots, so that our bodies would stay in the same position and just repeat the movements...
Easier said than done!
We were all over the place, and I was dying laughing.
And it was a surprising workout! Throwing and picking up the balls makes your heart pound. At one point, Alex said, "I'm literally sweating. I have rivulets coming down my forehead."
The juggling class was such a fun activity on a winter afternoon, and we must have been belly laughing for 95% of the date. (And Toby was PSYCHED when his parents returned home knowing how to juggle:) Thank you so much for the idea, HowAboutWe. (And three other dates that look awesome: A "naked" scavenger hunt at the Met, an couples astrology reading and side-by-side acupuncture and reflexology.)
I'd highly recommend HowAboutWe for Couples. You can sign up for free and browse their creative dates in New York, San Francisco, Chicago, Seattle and—as of this week—Los Angeles! BONUS: Get $50 off your first date through this link, until April 30th. Thanks so much, HowAboutWe.

Check out all their dates here.

Have you been on any fun dates lately? Any recommendations?

P.S. More NYC date ideas, including fire-escape drinks and massages at home.

(This post was sponsored by HowAboutWe, a service that gets people in relationships on wonderful dates, tailored for two. All opinions expressed are our own. Thank you for supporting the sponsors that make Cup of Jo possible. Photos by our friend Julia Robbs for Cup of Jo)

Funny Valentine's Day cards

I'm planning to mail Alex a Valentine's Day card to his office. There's something sexy about opening your boring work mail and suddenly finding a card from your significant other, don't you think? (At least I hope so:) Emily McDowell's cards made me laugh...
I would have loved this one in my twenties.
And her other cards are sweet/hilarious for different occasions.

I'm curious: What's your relationship status this year? Single? Engaged? Married? It's complicated? xoxo

P.S. You can buy her cards in these shops, too.

(Thanks, Nina)

The art of presence

David Brooks wrote a beautiful piece in the New York Times about how to help people who are suffering or grieving. It was inspired by the Woodiwiss family, who has endured multiple traumas. Here are a few of their thoughtful tips that struck me...

*****

Do be there. Some people think that those who experience trauma need space to sort things through. Assume the opposite. Most people need presence.

Don’t compare, ever. Don’t say, “I understand what it’s like to lose a child. My dog died, and that was hard, too.” Even if the comparison seems more germane, don’t make it. Each trauma should be respected in its uniqueness. Each story should be heard attentively as its own thing.

Do bring soup. The non-verbal expressions of love are as healing as eloquence. When Mary was living with Catherine during her recovery, some young friend noticed she didn’t have a bathmat. He went to Target and got a bathmat. Mary says she will never forget that.

Do not say “you’ll get over it.” “There is no such thing as ‘getting over it,’ " Catherine writes, “A major disruption leaves a new normal in its wake. There is no ‘back to the old me.’ ”

Do be a builder. The Woodiwisses distinguish between firefighters and builders. Firefighters drop everything and arrive at the moment of crisis. Builders are there for years and years, walking alongside as the victims live out in the world. Very few people are capable of performing both roles.

*****

Read the full column here. It's so enlightening. Have you lost a loved one or been through a trauma? What did people say or do that brought you comfort? My mom once told me that when her mother died, people would seem scared of bringing it up, as if they didn't want to remind her, but of course she was thinking of her mother all the time.

P.S. Encouragement.

(Photo by Nicole Franzen)

The trick to a healthy diet

Have you seen this brilliant little video narrated by food journalist Michael Pollan? I love the way it's illustrated. The big takeaway lesson: "What predicted a healthy diet more than anything else was that it was being cooked by a human being (and not a corporation)...Eat anything you want, just cook it yourself."

P.S. The power of empathy, and Toby's first giggle.

(Video by Kerry Hyndman and Damn Fine Media)

The Best South Indian Dahl

This month, we're asking food bloggers to share one-dish meals, like skillet lasagna. Today, Leela of Tea Cup Tea is sharing a vegetarian Indian stew that you can whip up in 20 minutes with creamy coconut milk and toasted cashews. Delicious! Here's how to make it...Read More >

The Goldfinch

Have you read any good books recently? My friend Megan just emailed me with a recommendation: "If you're looking for something great, pick up The Goldfinch. Best contemporary novel I've read in about a billion years. Don't be put off by the fact that it's 800 pages. You'll wish it were longer."

The Goldfinch is described as a "beautiful, stay-up-all-night and tell-all-your-friends triumph," and the New Yorker writes, "Like the rest of us, Donna Tartt ages; but her fiction is going the other way. Her new novel, 'The Goldfinch,' is a virtual baby: it clutches and releases the most fantastical toys. Its tone, language, and story belong to children’s literature."
I'm so intrigued! Sometimes I like starting books (and movies) without knowing anything, so I ordered it without looking up the plot synopsis. Have you read it? Thoughts? Any other books you'd recommend? I know you guys are big readers!

P.S. Five favorite novels, and subway reading.

(Cartoon by John O'Brien)

Mama/kid sleepover!

This weekend, to help cheer up the cold winter, my friends Sharon, Kendra and I decided to have a mama/kid sleepover! We figured it would be like taking a trip together but without having to leave town.
So, one afternoon, we all piled into Kendra's house uptown (her husband was on a work trip). As we arrived armed with travel cribs, backpacks and rowdy kiddos, she joked, "This is either going to be the best idea we've ever had or a total disaster."
After playing and exploring the neighborhood, that evening we made pizzas. Kendra's awesome tip: Buy fresh dough from your local pizza place! Smart, right? It was easy, cheap and tasted great.
The kids each made mini pizzas with sauce and cheese...
And we made some for the mamas, including one with cheese and grilled red onions. Delicious.
(Eeks! Those cheeks!)
But the highlight was the Nintendo Wii dancing game that Sharon brought. Have you played it? You try to do the same moves as the dancers on screen, and the game somehow tracks you to see how well you do.
Nailed it.
Here are the kiddos rocking out. They did it for HOURS while the mamas talked and ate cookies in the kitchen (and sometimes peeked in).
The next morning we had bagels and bacon. It was so much fun; I can't believe we had never thought of it before! We could really relax and hang out without having to rush home for naps and bedtimes. The only catch is that we got approximately zero hours of sleep that night:) But it was worth it.

Would you do this? Do you already have grown-up sleepovers? Or travel with friends? I'm so into it!